*Image Credit: Lorelei Curren-Evans*
*My aunt Vicky (far left), and then my mom, my dad, me, my cousin Rosie, my uncle*

It was a balmy day in early August of 2023, a rare weather occurrence for a Southern Californian summer; most days in August scorched my skin with heat. I stood on the coral-colored bricks of my grandparents’ driveway as I struggled to maintain the strength and courage to wave good-bye to my family. I could hardly come to accept that a part of my family was returning back to their home in England, and I would have to stay at mine, in the United States, thousands of miles away. Something even harder to accept was the thought of not knowing the next time I'd see them. Who knew what would happen until then?

When I had the chance to show my cousins around a city foreign to them, sharing the places I had grown up in, it didn’t occur to me that my time with them was limited. And in those moments, I experienced the benefits of having family who live far away. Reuniting with them felt like the stars aligned. It was so lovely to learn about the country they were from and the lives they lead there, while also getting to share aspects of my life as I introduced them to America. I suppose I felt happy that I didn’t have all my family living in the same city, because it gave me the opportunity to travel to other places and experience them in ways that most tourists don't get to experience.

But with positives, there are negatives too. Those obstacles have changed form over time, starting all the way back in the two separate lives my parents led before they knew each other.

My father was born in England and spent his entire adolescence there. He attended both primary school and secondary school in the UK and was a student at the University Of Essex. My mom, on the other hand, was born and raised on California's sun-soaked coast. Even after she graduated high school, she stayed in LA and continued my family's long legacy of attending USC. However, after her first two years of college, she made a big change and traded her sunshine for greyer skies by deciding to transfer to the same university as my dad. That was where my parents’ paths crossed.

Fast forward to the present day: my parents have been married for over 18 years and have a daughter (me, obviously). We live in the valley basin of Los Angeles, and I have family in the US and in England.

I’ve had consistent relationships with my American family (for the most part), as well as with my British grandparents, my aunt, my uncles, and my cousins, Rosie and Georgia. My cousins have been important figures in my life since they traveled to the US for the first time in the summer of 2023. Prior to that, I had only seen them occasionally on video calls and once in-person when my family traveled to the UK when I was seven years old.

*Image Credit: Jennifer Curren*
*My cousins reintroduced me to the London metro.*

By the time our summer reunion had ended, we were much closer to each other. It was my goal to maintain that bond with both of my cousins, one that didn’t solely depend on our parents and their occasional video calls. Usually, those video calls didn’t even give me the chance to talk one on one with Rosie or Georgia—we never created individual relationships with each other.

Though intimidating at first, I soon came to learn that it is possible to feel connected to long distance family members. And thanks to the internet, it's very achievable. One obvious way we stay in touch that is easy and manageable is texting, since the time difference between Los Angeles and London makes it hard to make plans to call each other.

Another part of the internet we use to interact is social media. In fact, the way I began to grow closer to Rosie prior to the2023 trip was through Instagram. By following each other's accounts, I got a closer and more personal look into my family's life and learned about my cousin’s passions. Anytime Rosie would post something, I could comment on it or privately chat with her. Being able to learn about Rosie by simply seeing what she shared online created a natural and less awkward opportunity to then segue into having actual conversations that formed the basis for a friendship. I came to learn just how much we had in common—in particular, our music tastes.

By the time her family visited us, I had a decent sense of who Rosie was as a person, which made some of that inevitable awkwardness of having to meet each other all over again dissipate. I was able to break the ice by showing my cousins my room, especially since I knew so many of my music-themed posters would resonate with Rosie and her interests. Though I hadn’t yet developed a relationship with Georgia, I still knew that she had similarities with her sister,- such as music taste, humor, etc- which helped me start to get to know her as well.

After their Los Angeles extravaganza, I became better about making time to catch up with my cousins, since I had actually met them in the flesh. Suddenly, the only barrier to overcome was the distance. And even then, it didn’t seem to matter because we loved each other and were happy to update each other about the chaos of our lives.

Of course I missed being able to have night-time talks all together in one room instead of text-exchanges before going to bed, but I knew that long distance is survivable. The large gap between summer of 2023 and December of 2024 proved that and taught me that our connection couldn’t be broken by oceans or by time.

Getting to see my cousins in England over this past winter break was a core memory, one that included a festive Christmas, late night talks filled with laughter and smiles, re-visiting historic London landmarks, and more. Even though that trip during the holidays had unexpected obstacles, I did learn how to overcome them.

Although I don’t feel that close to many of my American family members whom I've seen almost every holiday for the past 15 years, oddly enough I have been able to find closeness with my cousins. For the first time in a long time, I actually believe that family is not just a matter of blood, but of kinship.

The Struggle Of Having Long Distance Family and the Bonds I Have Formed Despite It

Cooking vs Baking: Are They Really That Similar?